


This Is Exhausting

by silentconventionalweapon



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Drabble, Fighting, JohnDaveKat - Freeform, M/M, Meteor, Miscommunication, Multi, OT3, Quadrant Confusion, Retcon, Second person POV, Time Travel, different pov each chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 19:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5103161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentconventionalweapon/pseuds/silentconventionalweapon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John finally meets up with the meteor crew after 3 years, having mixed feelings upon discovering Dave and Karkat's romantic relationship. There's fighting, confusion, tension, and time travel, and nobody knows what to do. Maybe they can work it out, maybe it'll end in sloppy makeouts, who fuckin knows?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dave: Deal With This Bullshit

What an asshole. Honestly, you’re feeling a bit like Karkat right now, getting pissed off at your past self for making such a dumb decision. Why did you ever think this would last? Some stupid friendship that your thirteen-year-old self had with a kid half way across the country. Why did you ever think that you and John would be friends forever? 

Right. Because you didn’t realize what a massive dick he was. A thick-headed, homophobic, asshole. You’re so pissed off, you can practically feel your blood boiling. You had stormed off pretty quickly back there, and you were surprised when John didn’t immediately follow you. But of course he didn’t, he doesn’t actually care about your feelings, does he? Fucking douche bag. 

“Dave?” 

You turn at the sound of your name and feel your expression twist into one of anger as you see John standing in the doorway. 

“Congrats, asshole, that’s my name, glad to see you haven’t fucked that up yet,” you snap, your voice laced with snark. “Or were you about to get pissy at me about it, since that’s another hobby of yours. Go ahead, I’m waiting.” You cross your arms and glare at him through your shades, which you now remember were a gift from John in the first place. You snatch them off your face and toss them aside, not caring where they ended up as they clattered to the ground. 

John’s gaze follows your discarded glasses, an expression of hurt flashing across his features. Good. 

“Dave, I just…I’m sorry, but all that was a lot to take in,” his voice is low as he turns to you, approaching with caution. “And I really didn’t feel comfortable talking about all that in front of so many people, you know?” 

“The only ones paying any attention to our conversation were Karkat and maybe the Mayor, who are both incredibly cool and aren’t totally judgmental like you,” you snap back quickly. “And maybe Vriska and TZ but again, who gives a fuck? They’ve got their own shit going on.” 

“I’m not being judgmental, I just- I’m trying to understand Dave!” John is only a foot away from you now, his eyes narrowed and stare unwavering. “I haven’t seen you for three years, I haven’t talked to you for nearly that long too, and now that I see you again, you’re suddenly an entirely different person!”

“I am not different!” You’re yelling now. “This is me, this is who I’ve always been, I was just too much of an ignorant dumbass to realize it! I’m sure Rose could come up with a million different psychoanalytical bullshit definitions to describe what kind of shit I was pulling when I was thirteen, but what it comes down to is that this is me. And if you don’t like it, then you can fuck off. _I don’t need you._ ” 

John looks hurt. Completely, entirely hurt. His eyes are filled to the brims with tears, and a few even spill over, sliding down his cheeks, and he doesn’t even bother to wipe them. He’s upset. Good. He should be. 

You turn away, continuing to abscond the fuck out of there, going somewhere, anywhere, where you wouldn’t have to deal with this shit. You decaptchalogue your Time Tables, letting them spin and whir beneath your fingertips for a bit. You haven’t used them in a while, it almost feels nostalgic to be using them again. Time travel is limited this far out in the rings, but you don’t care. You’ll happily travel back just a few hours to get some goddamn time to yourself for a bit. 

Just as you flick your wrist to determine your destination, you feel a tug on your cape. You glance back, squinting a bit as you uncovered eyes glare through the glow of the timeskip at John’s surprised expression. 

There’s a flash, and then you’re both gone.


	2. John: Try To Explain Yourself

Despite what you once recently thought, time travel feels _totally different_ from the retcon action you had previously been experiencing. Maybe it was just because of Dave’s Time Tables, or maybe because you weren’t the one in control of where you were going, but when you started to move, you felt like you were going to be sick. Well, more than you did beforehand.

When it finally feels like the ground beneath your feet is solid, you release your death grip on Dave’s cape and crumple to your knees. You gag, cough, wretch, and after a solid minute of dry heaving, you force yourself to swallow dryly and gaze up at Dave through watery eyes.

He’s standing over you, arms crossed, naked red eyes narrowed and glaring with one eyebrow hitched up. His Time Tables have since vanished- likely back into his sylladex- and you see nothing but solid grey behind him. Oh man he looks _pissed_. 

You sniffle pathetically and summon a gust of wind to help you rise to your feet. While you’re at it, you let your hood slide over your head. The extra cover will serve as a much needed barrier between yourself and the knight of time.

Dave opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by a guttural screech coming from around the corner. You both turn towards the source to see Karkat stumble backwards and land square on his ass with a huff, the screeching _(which was apparently coming from him, how do trolls even make that kind of noise??)_ quieting instantly as he landed. Instead, Karkat is growling now, profanities grumbling from his lips as he stands himself up and brushes off his pants, turning towards you and Dave.

“What the fuck!” Karkat yells, pointing at Dave. He stomps forward and that’s when you notice that his face is flushed with red, merely a tint beneath his grey skin. He looked like he was about to say something else when his eyes fell on you, and his jaw dropped with silence.

"Time bullshit,“ Dave explains, glaring at you for a solid five seconds before looking back to the troll. "Just two days.”

"Well thanks for the fucking warning, douche sack! You fucking scattered out of existence right when we were-“ Karkat pauses his rant, his cheeks reddening as he glances at you. ”…having an extremely important conversation.“

"Oh shit we were mackin hardcore weren’t we?” Dave smirks, and now you feel your cheeks flush with color. “Well I’ve got a day and a half to spare if you wanna continue Karkar.” His arm slides around Karkat’s waist, and the troll responds with rejection that mimics a puppet being tossed across a room. Dave responds with a laugh, and you’re tired of being ignored, so you _not-so-casually_ clear your throat to get their attention turned to you.

“Uh…Dave?” your voice is raspy but you just talk through it. “You think we can we finish our conversation?”

“No,” he huffs, walking past you, snagging Karkat by the arm as he went. 

You stammer for a moment before following after them, having to jog a bit to catch up once they reach what looked like a bedroom on the meteor. You stand in the open doorway as Dave turns around, glaring once again. His eyes are so sharp and intense, it feels like they’re pinning you in place, refusing you any wiggle room. The door slams closed, and you’re both startled, turning to see Karkat leaning against it. 

“Okay jerkoffs, time for you to fucking talk about whatever the hell is going on,” Karkat growls, his gaze shifting between you and Dave as he spoke. “And don’t tell me it’s nothing, because it is _pretty fucking obvious_ that there is something going on here. Now skip the horseshit and get to talking!”

Thank you Karkat. Now you can finally clear the air. You turn to Dave and inhale deeply, preparing your words carefully and about to speak when he takes his turn first. 

“John I don’t think you have any fucking right to be mad at me or whatever, you’re the one being a homophobic douche bag here, and if me dating a guy is really that disgusting to you, then we can fucking end whatever joke of a friendship we still have. We’ll go after all the bad guys in a few days, beat the game, settle our new universe, and then never speak to each other again, aight?” His expression was frozen into one that refused to convey any emotion. God, even without the glasses hiding half his face, Dave was still a master at not letting his feelings show through the veil. 

His words start to sink in, and you jump immediately to explain yourself- because wow, no, Dave has got this all wrong- and you’re once again interrupted. 

“Wait, that’s what this is about?!” Karkat is yelling, his angry stare boring into your skull. “Are you fucking kidding me Egbert, you’re _still_ hung up on that dumbass Earth concept of _‘homosexuality’?_ This is the stupidest fucking issue I think I have ever witnessed being argued about, and I watched Kankri argue with Mituna about his fucking helmet!” 

“No! That’s not-” you’re raising your voice, trying to talk over him because _come on you have something important to say to hopefully clear up this whole mess!_

“Holy shit, what more could you possibly have to say about this?” Dave is glaring again, taking a step closer. His hands have balled into fists at his sides, and you’re afraid he might even take a swing at you if you don’t finish your thought with a favorable outcome. 

“I don’t have a problem with you being gay, Dave! Or being bi or pan or- or whatever!” You’re full out yelling now, your eyes squeezed shut so that you could concentrate on getting the words out. “I don’t care if you’re dating a guy, I don’t care if you’re dating Karkat! I just don’t want to lose my best friends because they decided to start dating each other, and suddenly I’m the third wheel!” 

Your face is hot, and your breathing is almost labored when you finish speaking. As your eyes open, you can feel the stares of Dave and Karkat as they look at you silently, obviously surprised with your admission. Good, hopefully they feel stupid for not letting you finish talking now!

After a long pause, Dave lets out a heavy sigh, moving forward to place a hand on your shoulder. “Dude,” his voice is low, and his crimson eyes are much softer now than they previously were. “You’re totally not gonna be a third wheel or whatever. Like I don’t even see how that can be a thing.” 

“Three person relationships exist, you know,” Karkat finally pipes up, grimacing at the ceiling, his words coming out as a low mumble. “I’m sure Dave and I could use someone to be an auspistice for us…plenty of goddamn quadrant flipping with just us two so _hey why the fuck not throw in the fourth quadrant too._ ” 

Wait, is he…is that his way of asking you to join their relationship? Oh crap, no, this isn’t what you intended. 

“N-no, I just,” you’re stammering, gaze shifting back to Dave. “I-I don’t know, I just don’t want to ruin our friendship, Dave. You’re my best friend, but it seems like you don’t really need me, and-” 

You’re forced to stop talking as something mashes itself against your mouth. You blink a few times and, oh, hey, it’s Dave. He’s kissing you. _Dave is kissing you._

Holy crap. 

Your stomach twists itself in knots and your throat tightens, and your face feels like it’s burning hotter than a bakery oven, and you’re so so confused because you think that you like this feeling. 

You let out a small whine as he pulls away, his expression once again conveying no emotion- at least none that you can recognize, you’re a bit too distracted by the fact that _your best friend just fucking kissed you on the mouth and you may have enjoyed it._ He’s staring at you again, expectantly this time, as if he’s trying to gauge your reaction. But you’re not sure you can give him what he wants, because your mind has gone completely numb.

All you can do is blankly stare in his general direction, trying to make yourself breathe and slow your heart rate and possibly even try to understand why you’re secretly wishing he would kiss you again.


	3. Karkat: Be Shocked and Embarrassed

What the fuck. 

Seriously, what the _fuck?_

There aren’t many times that you’re rendered speechless, but this time is completely warranted, because you just watched douchenozzle that is John Egbert get kissed on the mouth by your– _best bro? matesprit? boyfriend? moirail? kisme- fuck, whatever!_ – by Dave _fucking_ Strider. 

That is a thing that just happened. And here you are, standing two feet away, watching the literal visible tension between the two humans as you feel your face heat up to a temperature that you’re sure is impossible for trolls to reach. 

John is clearly stunned, gaping like a goddamn fish as he stares ahead at Dave, his caramel colored skin is tinted the brightest shade of pink, and that alone makes you even more embarrassed. You turn your attention to Dave, who is looking as smug as ever, even without his douchey shades hiding his eyes. He slides over to you wordlessly, slinking an arm around your shoulder as he always fucking does when he’s trying to get physical and– _holy fuck you hate that it works every single time, you’re repulsed by yourself for getting so fucking flustered around this asshole_ – you shuffle forward as he leads the two of you closer to John. 

“Yo, earth to John,” Strider waves a hand in front of Johns face. “Or I guess, _meteor_ to John. Since earth is dead and gone much like the social constructs that once held our dumbass society in chains.” He pauses, his lips pursing, and you come to your senses enough to give him a glare, because ever since he came to this fucking realization that our nonexistent societies mean nothing, he hasn’t shut up about it. Shitty smug asshole. 

Dave is an expert at ignoring the low humming growl in your chest, as he continues speaking to John once the buck-toothed wonder finally snaps into attention. “You gonna stand there like an idiot until we complete this time loop, or are you gonna kiss my boyfriend?” He shoves you forward slightly and, _wait what?_

“What the fuck?” you snap at him, face burning and muscles tensed because you’re seriously going to punch this douche sack so hard he’ll wish he wasn’t immortal. 

“What?” Strider raises an eyebrow as he glances at you, as if it’s the most causal thing in the world. “You still got a thing for him, don’t you? I sure as hell do. I mean look at him.” He gestures a hand to the fumbling, blushing, udder fucking mess that is John Egbert. “He’s goddamn irresistible. So just smooch and get the awkward shit over with so we can continue on with our lives, aight?”

“I-I, um…,” John stammers, glancing between you and Dave, his gaze finally settling on you. “Y-you uh…still have a uh, blackrom thing for me?” 

The rumbles of low growling bubble up to your throat and you glare at Dave. “No, it seems that quadrant has been officially taken over by this shitbag,” you snap, shoving the asshole you call your boyfriend’s hand away from you. “But I guess we’re just saying fuck it to any and all social norms that might construct a normal fucking conversation, so what the hell, I may as well just admit that I feel _something_ towards you, alright?” 

“Oh.” That’s all John says, and it’s entirely fucking infuriating. Fucking hell, maybe you do have enough hate to go around for both these assholes. Dave nudges you again, and you know what? Fine. You give up. 

You close the space between yourself and John, glaring into his impossibly blue eyes- the color being somewhere between Equius and Vriska’s- and as much as you hate that hue and all the pain it’s brought you, you can’t help but think that they’re extremely pleasing to look at. 

“Okay,” you sigh heavily, forcing yourself to keep eye contact with him. “Dave is incredibly fucking idiotic, but he’s got a point here. Obviously he’s got feelings for you and, fuck, I just admitted that I do too. And you…well you don’t seem too fucking happy to admit it but it’s blatantly fucking clear that you definitely feel something.” 

John lets out a whine, not of approval or denial, and you notice his gaze shifting between your eyes, your mouth, and Dave’s appearance behind you. He nods quickly, biting his lower lip. 

“Yeah, I…I guess but, isn’t this weird?” My god, he’s nearly crying. “I mean you two are already together, like I said, I’m still just going to be the third wheel. Whether it’s in a friend way or uh, otherwise.” 

“Oh my god, this is so exhausting,” Dave groans, and you suddenly feel his hand on the back of your head, the other gripping John’s head as well. “You two are gonna kiss, and then we’re going to spend the next day and a half bonding like three best bros rightly should, aight?” 

Next thing you know, your lips meet with Egbert’s, and its twelve different types of horribly fucking awkward. But only for a few seconds. Once Dave backs away and lets you two go at your own pace, you feel more comfortable to actually focus on this forced kiss. 

John is definitely more timid than Dave, which gives you a weirdly rumbling satisfaction that you get to be the dominant one. Your hand goes to his hair, brushing it back like you do with Dave, and letting the kiss last for a few more seconds before pulling away. 

Your face is burning, and you can only imagine that you’re as flushed as John is right now. His eyes are wide behind his stupid glasses, and as he licks his lips, you slowly untangle your hand from his hair. Dave wraps an arm around each of you, his horribly shitty smirk plastered back onto his annoyingly attractive face. 

“Glad we got that outta the way,” he glances between you and John, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively now. “Now that the pleasantries are over with we can have some real fun...got a whole hour to ourselves until I've gotta close off this time loop.” 

Dave's expression is fucking obnoxious, and John's giggling is getting on your last nerves, but the flips in your stomach and the heat on your cheeks can't hide how excited you are to actually have these two assholes all to yourself.


End file.
